|
|
You Stupid Woman!!!
You stupid woman!!! Can you not see????!!!
I am insanely in love with you!!!! And if you do not believe it by now go suck an egg. And make it an ostrich egg. They are kind of big. Should take you a long long time to finish sucking it. And then when you start to puke, I shall stand beside you and hold your hand. Like good little boyfriends should.
On the momentous occasion of your birthday, allow me to be the first to tell you, that just because you have completed one more year of your miserable, insignificant, useless existence on planet earth, its no cause for distress!!! No indeed! Look forward to the many many years that you still have to make my life living breathing hell!!!
Where else will you find a man so willing to commit himself to a life of unspeakable drudgery??
See I am a sweetheart! You are an idiot. This proves Confucius’ Cardinality Rule #1:
Sweetheart type guys always land up with idiot type females!
Confucius very smart man. Maybe that’s why he never got laid! Come to think of it I wouldn’t mind being a little dumber if it would mean that you jump out of your clothes the minute you set your eyes on me. Apparently that’s what happens to dumb hockey jocks in Harvard. So sayeth Eric Segal. The king of all morons. You know why??? Cause he wrote this hokey, hyped up little piece of utter drivel called, take a wild guess, THE LOVE STORY!!!!!!
Yeah yeah its one of the less mushy novels of its ilk. But that doesn’t make it any better than the rest! You know why? Cause its about love. Love bites my ass, f*** Valentines day.
You! You women are the reason I dislike, detest and abhor love!
In all honesty I cannot fathom why my ass is gonna get screwed tomorrow. But I got into it in the first place. Who told me to go fall in love? I cant keep a beard even in peace. Because pesky li'l women like you keep bitching about how it pokes your “oh so gentle skin”. Like you let us get close anyways!!!
Eeeew! You stink! Eeeew! You poke!! That’s all you ever hear out of your sorry li'l mouths.
You finished sucking the egg??? Good! Now go jump in the Marianas Trench!!!! Why? Why?? Cause while you're busy sinking down ill catch the appropriate submarine transport, get down to the bottom and get some hot tomato soup ready for you down there. Then maybe we can watch a nice comedy together. Guess which one????? FINDING NEMO!!! LIVE!!!!
See? there are bigger problems than yours in the world. People cannot pee!!!!
You know why? Cause its raining!!!! Cats and f***ing dogs!!!!
See? People want umbrellas so they can pee! And other people don’t have any umbrellas so they have to watch their friends in pain!!!!!! And that’s not fun!!!
No fun no fun!
So my dear empty headed cuckoo, god damn you to a life of weeding lice out of other chimpanzees hair. I have better things to do in life. GOOD NIGHT!